Fort Wayne, IN. After 30 intense days and nights of struggle, A Better Post confidently announces that they have cleared all the curmudgeon cootie creatures from their TI 99 Word Processor. "We are back in full production of prestigious posts, but it was a battle of the ages." Says Swy. "We done got infested. First, they rattled the rattlers in the ratta-tat-tatter. Next, they wiggled the wires in the haymaker, and it went haywire. Those cooties are quite the quiet quandary." What started as a silly wordplay nuisance quickly turned into a vicious attack of A Better Post's right to free press. "It was like the little guys didn't want us to post any of our top-notch reporting anymore." Says J. Ken Doll. "Every time we started to type stuff, something else went wrong. Finally, we just picked up the keyboard and shook the bejinkers out of it. Literally, bejinkers fell out of it. Bejnkers and Cooties. They were in cahoots the whole time." That revelation allowed the A Better Post team to buy a big can of Cootie Spray and remedy the problem. "Get set, America. We are back and ready for round two.”