Don't let the difference between life and death on the Battle Royale Battlefield come down to a sweaty set of palms. Chicken Dinner your way to victory with this man-scented Elixer of champions. $14.95
Suture Practice Kit
Trust us. When the Apocolypse hits the fan, you'll be glad you learned how to forcep, compress and stitch up 14 of the worst wounds in the field. Your mommy will be so proud of you. $35.95
Hot Diggity Dogs!
The best invention ever! The All American Meal. All toasted together? Why didn't somebody think of this idea years ago? Apparently, they did. Brilliant and delicious! $18.59
Cooties Attack Typing Machine at A Better Post
Fort Wayne, IN. After 30 intense days and nights of struggle, A Better Post confidently announces that they have cleared all the curmudgeon cootie creatures from their TI 99 Word Processor. "We are back in full production of prestigious posts, but it was a battle of the ages." Says Swy. "We done got infested. First, they rattled the rattlers in the ratta-tat-tatter. Next, they wiggled the wires in the haymaker, and it went haywire. Those cooties are quite the quiet quandary." What started as a silly wordplay nuisance quickly turned into a vicious attack of A Better Post's right to free press. "It was like the little guys didn't want us to post any of our top-notch reporting anymore." Says J. Ken Doll. "Every time we started to type stuff, something else went wrong. Finally, we just picked up the keyboard and shook the bejinkers out of it. Literally, bejinkers fell out of it. Bejnkers and Cooties. They were in cahoots the whole time." That revelation allowed the A Better Post team to buy a big can of Cootie Spray and remedy the problem. "Get set, America. We are back and ready for round two.”
About A Better Post
A Better Post is a creative outburst of A. Betterman Creative. All names, both real and made up, are used for humor and parody purposes only. All stories, facts, and data shared herein are not to be taken literally. Who has time to find real info anymore? That takes work. It's all for funsies. Enjoy responsibly. Share extravagantly.