(Alphabet Pressroom) AP WIRE: Not all news is good news. This story is a sad one. The E family was like any other family, just living a typical, everyday alphabetical life. When the unthinkable happened. Tragedy struck in the middle of the night. "It was quite shocking really." says Mrs Esther E. "We all woke up one morning and all our center sticks were just cut off. Like someone took a pair of scissors and SNIP. Well, all except Elmer. His was left on for some reason." Elmer is the father of the family. "It didn't hurt, of course. We are letters, after all. But, we do get confused with the C family now. They are cheerful and considerate people. Always courteous to others. But, that's just not us." In the police report, it was noted that there was no sign of a break-in and no sign of struggle. And, the pair of scissors used in the crime belonged to the family. Since the event, Elmer E has written a best-selling book, "Our Snip of Destin-E" and made several appearances on the National Talk Show circuit. "It's a mystery," said Police Chief G. Willikers. -- We agree chief. It's definitely a Mister E who did it.